Título

I am not likely to win the original title award this week, that´s for sure. For that matter, I´m not likely to win much sweeping praise for the content, either. Today we have, for your reading pleasure, a Top Ten List!



THE TOP TEN FUNNY LANGUAGE GOOFS OF THE PAST THREE MONTHS



These are not limited to my own, but will be heavily comprised of them.



10. The "du isst" vs. "die fledermause ist" confusion in which I thought Dorothea said I was a banana rather than saying that I was eating a banana.

9. "Sí, la Biblia es de mí." NOT what I meant to say...that implies authorship rather than ownership. Happened in a Bible study, no less...I was corrected VERY quickly for that goof, probably out of fear of a lightning strike.

8. Pronunciation confusion between "the passive voice" and "the Backstreet Boys" which led to a lot of questions on my part about the quality of class content here in Uruguay.

7. "¿Puedo impresar un documento acá?" "¿Cómo?" "Necesito impresar una forma." "Umm...¿necesitás IMPRIMIR algo?" People get confused when you make up words for "to print" and then say them with confidence...

6. My frequently manifested inability to get acá and allá right...I constantly mix them up, resulting in an almost conditioned response on my part to correct myself anytime I use the words. Example: "Sí, tenemos muchos amigos allá...acá. Actualmente, acá y allá."

5. "¿Cuánto tiempo vas a estar acá?" "Dos semanas." No, I´m not going to be here for two weeks; I had perhaps been in Montevideo for two weeks at that point, but yeah...definitely not to the two weeks left point.

4. Anything to do with Kirsten´s name; she has had her name mangled in an incredible variety of ways. My favorite is little Alejandra´s "Kishnaer," personally.

3. This one requires a little explanation. In this part of the world, the equivalent of "asking someone up for coffee" or to "come see my etchings" is an invitation to "tomar mate" followed either by a question about what happens if there´s no yerba (Argentina) or a flat-out declaration that "yerba no hay" (Uruguayans are a little more direct). This topic came up in a work team meeting (go figure), and Dorothea meant to say that "this is something we should know about" so we can get the joke, etc. However, what she SAID was "this is something we should do." For those of you wondering how Uruguay was introduced to Dr. Schnortzelfitz-style laughter, voila.

2. Overheard while Claudio and KD reviewed a powerpoint about major cities in the U.S. when they reached the slide on Phoenix: "Ahhh, sí, yo conozco esta...la ciudad de Penis." I suspect that if Claudio ever gets off a plane in the U.S. on his way to Arizona, he will be grateful that he now knows NOT to tell people he´s trying to find "Penis" in the airport.

1. Naughty word confusions I have made: "mariposa" and "maricon," (butterfly v. f#ggot) "pucho" and "puto," (cigarrette v. male whore/substitute for the f word) and "pene" and "peine (penis v. comb).